Letting go completely !

And being able to move on with total freedom - consciously and subconsciously

A good friend of mine said something to me recently that has stayed with me for a few days and I’ve been wondering why ?

Well, I think I know why now - moving on from a 24 year relationship and almost 18 year marriage when the decision was forced upon me has not been easy - many people face this situation in their own lives but every situation is different and each person will react differently.

My marriage and my life as it was imploded on one day just over 15 months ago - the healing journey is not easy but it is a process one chooses to go through and from my experience and from what I’m told and read, if you do the work, things shift and the light at the end of the tunnel does appear and gradually gets bigger & brighter.

Part of my healing journey has included some health issues - which my doctor immediately said was due to ‘stress’ - she suggested an app for stress related meditation which I’ve been using. It has helped but I’m still struggling with the issue.

Part of my health issues were cortisol spikes, high blood pressure and poor sleep patterns.

I’ve also spoken with my therapist about my health issue and some strange thoughts that kept appearing in my head during certain points of my days. Talking with her also helped but I’m not back to full health yet.

My friend said something related to my situation with regards my marriage break up - something along the lines of - is there something in your subconscious that is holding you back from letting go - completely letting go - and coming to terms with the fact that the marriage is over and is history. Maybe somewhere deep down I was holding onto something - not knowingly - but buried deep in my brain that was affecting my health.

I was certainly not aware of this but because this conversation keeps replaying in my head, I believe my intuition is telling me that my friend is right. So, today, I’ve meditated on this, sat in silence with it, walked & meditated with it, journaled about it, did some Prof Google type research on it and now I’m writing this post about it.

When I was actively involved in an evangelical Christian group, we often were taught about ‘cutting the ties’ - from past relationships - handing them over to God - which then releases you from the relationship entirely.

So, I did this as well and asked God to cut all ‘ties’ with my ex on an emotional level - we still have to communicate on practical details which is fine - but cutting ties emotionally is about allowing me to be free of the relationship without holding onto any guilt, shame or embarrassment etc.

Just doing these practices today, I can tell you I immediately feel so much lighter in myself and so more grounded. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders - I even noticed on my walk this afternoon, that I was almost skipping along and holding myself upright - feeling tall and proud of myself.

Time will tell if my health issue is resolved but the feeling is that this was causing my brain to send signals to my nervous system which resulted in my heath issue - the body is so powerful that it has the capacity to override our thought processes, i.e. I can think one thing but actually deep down, my brain is hearing and responding to a different signal.

If anyone can shed more light on this topic, please message me - I’m all for learning more.

Thank you.